Counseling Elementary School Children

Counselors assist people with personal, family, educational, mental health, and career problems. Counselor's duties vary according to their specialties. Educational counselors assist students of all levels, from elementary school to postsecondary education. They help students evaluate their abilities, interests, talents, and personalities in order to develop realistic academic career goals. To evaluate and advise students, they employ the use of interview sessions and aptitude tests to know about a child's personal interests.

They work with students who either have academic and social development problems or other needs. They discuss the issues of students with their teachers and parents to evaluate their strengths, problems, and special needs. They not only consult with the parents and teachers but also with the school administrators, psychologists, medical professionals, and social workers to develop and implement strategies that will help students succeed in their life. 

Why Do We Need Student Counselors? 

➜ Today's generation is facing a huge cultural diversity in our society because of new technologies and expanding opportunities. To help these young people become able next generation parents, workers, leaders, and citizens, there is a need for support, guidance, and opportunities during childhood, which is a time of rapid growth and change. 

➜ Divorce and single-parent families are the facts that the children of the modern generation are very well aware of. The experimentation with drugs, at an early age, leads to abuse and addiction in adolescence. 

➜ Counselors should recognize the serious effects of parents' alcoholism on a child's development and implement compassion approaches to help the young victims. 

➜ In our society, child abuse and neglect are rampant, and we should take adequate measures to prevent it or help the child overcome such situations. A systematic approach is required to enhance healthy social, emotional, and educational growth. 

What is Expected From These Counselors? 

➜ Elementary school counseling should be designed to serve the needs of all children at each stage of their development. Because of social pressure and changes, children carry the burden of several issues and concerns along with them to school. A troubled child may experience severe difficulties in learning. 

➜ Provision of counseling at the elementary level promotes developmental and preventive measures that help the children succeed in their school. Children are encouraged to make choices and decisions that will help them be better students. With the help of a program, the counselor can assist the children in strengthening their skills to become better learners as well as contributing members of the school. 

➜ They also help the children cope with challenging personal issues and crisis, that interrupt the learning and social development, through individual or small group sessions and coordination of services. 

➜ Elementary school counselors should develop innovative techniques to help both children and parents. They have to work closely with the teachers to help them understand the signs of abuse and to acquaint them with correct referral procedures. They should also be taught to be extremely sensitive in matters of abuse and the need for effective discretion in this area. So, children who have been abused need to feel accepted, and the counselors should work to build a supportive learning environment for them. 

➜ Elementary counseling should also develop strategies to help teachers communicate effectively with the parents of handicapped children, because only a teacher can develop an active ongoing relationship with parents but may lack the training to provide the requisite support. 

Children's behavior is a major concern for both parents and educators. The techniques available to improve children's behavior include modeling, positive reinforcement, behavior contracting, classroom guidance session, small group session, desensitization, and consulting with teachers. The counselors should aim at producing citizens who would strive for healthy and peaceful relations across cultures and nations.

Importance of Washing Your Hands

Did you know that regular hand washing is the most essential factor for maintaining good health? Every human being comes in contact with germs and bacteria in their daily life. These harmful microorganisms are present all around us like on the door knobs, faucets, light switches, stair railings, etc. People touch these things while doing their routine work, without thinking much about it and with the same hands touch their face, eyes, nose and sometimes eat food, too. While performing these acts, the germs and bacteria get into our body, causing several diseases. Hence, it is important for all of us to know and educate others with the right methods to follow, to lead a healthy lifestyle. 

Significance of Washing Hands 

 Why Is It Important 

The most important advantage is that you prevent yourself from getting infected by a number of dangerous ailments. People who are careless about washing their hands are at a higher risk of catching a cold or a flu. Not washing hands has also the ability to cause gastrointestinal illnesses and also diarrhea which can spread to the whole family. It has also been seen that improper means of washing hands or not washing at all can cause pneumonia in old people and in those people who are diagnosed with chronic diseases. 

The Correct Way to Do It 

Not many people know how to wash their hands properly. Cleaning hands does not mean just running water over your palms. It has to be done very carefully and in detail. Along with warm water, the most essential thing required to wash your hands is soap. 

» First, wet your hands with water and then lather your hands with soap and scrub thoroughly, with the soap reaching both the sides of your hands till the wrist and also between your fingers. Then, wash off the soap with water and pat it dry with a towel or a tissue paper. 

» The other method one could use when there is no soap or water is by making use of an alcohol-based sanitizer. Take a pea-sized sanitizer in the palm and spread it on the entire hands till it dries. 

» Wiping one's hands with antimicrobial wipes or towelettes is also a good way of keeping the hands clean. 

When to Wash Your Hands To prevent the dangers of not washing your hands, it is essential for you to know when it is extremely important to wash your hands. 

» After using the washroom at home or at any public place » After visiting a patient at the hospital » Before as well as after eating food 

» Before and after one starts cooking food, especially meat, fish and poultry 

» After changing a baby's diaper 

» After touching pets or cleaning their feces 

» Before touching young infants and children 

» While inserting or removing contact lenses 

» Before and after touching injured areas and changing the dressing of a wounded person 

» After collecting and throwing out garbage 

» After sneezing, coughing and blowing your nose 

 Knowing the importance of washing hands will help you in avoiding infectious diseases. People who work in hospitals and other health sectors have to keep a strict check on hygiene and should learn and educate others in the proper way. However, one must remember that even at home we can get infected with diseases due to bacteria and so it is necessary for us to teach the proper method to our family, especially children. Children love to play with mud and sand, which host a lot of germs. By teaching your kids the significance of washing hands properly, you would be taking a very crucial step towards living a healthy life.

Hygiene for Kids

If there was one person who hates water more than my cat, it is my five-year-old nephew. Bath time for him equates a battle where there is a constant raging war of wills with my sister. He would happily remain dirty and messy rather than take a soak in the suds. As I looked at my sister, chasing him around the house for a bath, I wondered about the importance of teaching children good hygiene habits. After all, hygiene is not just about keeping up appearances. It is important that children learn good hygiene-related habits to keep themselves healthy and prevent illnesses from spreading. 

Hygiene Basics for Kids 

Essential Bath Time: It is surprising how babies who just love to splash around in water grow up into messy prepubescent boys with a complete dislike for even a ten-minute shower. Irrespective of that, you need to set up a routine for the child's personal hygiene. You need to wash the face, neck, and bottom of infants throughout the day. Older children need to have a daily bath, especially in summer. For kids who have reached puberty and have to deal with persistent problems of body odor in arms and their private parts, a daily shower is a must. 

Wash hands: Did you know that washing hands is the best way to prevent the spread of illnesses? This is because the germs from an infected person can spread easily by hands. However, you need to teach kids proper hand washing techniques. The steps to proper hand washing include: 

• First wet the hands thoroughly with warm water 
• Use enough soap to create a good lather and rub the hands vigorously for 20 seconds 
• Wash both the palms and back of your hands to get rid of the dirt stuck in your nails 
• Rinse your hands and dry them with a towel 

Make sure that the kids wash their hands before their meals, after coming from outdoor, or playing with pets. In cars and playgrounds, when there is no access to running water, wet wipes and hand sanitizers are a good away of keeping the hands clean. However, you may need to monitor the younger kids who might end up putting their hands in their mouth or rubbing their eyes before the sanitizer evaporates. 

Nail Care: Keeping your kid's nails trimmed and clean is essential for warding away those messy germs that hide under them. Scratching the skin with germ-infected nails can lead to skin infection and rashes. 

Dental Care: Pediatric dentists recommend that by age of one, all the children should be screened by dentists. This is because an estimated twenty percent of children in the age group of three are already affected by tooth decay. Regular brushing is an essential part of the dental hygiene. Pre-teens should ideally be brushing three times a day to prevent bad breath and tooth decay. Kids who have just relished a sugary treat should brush within twenty minutes to avoid the risk of cavities. It is essential that you teach children under the age of ten to brush and floss their teeth properly. If your child is susceptible to cavities, use a fluoridated mouthwash to prevent tooth decay. 

Hair Care: Although most parents go through all the trouble of establishing a skin cleansing routine, not much attention is paid to hair care. However, washing the hair daily is as essential as bathing. While washing your hair with a shampoo, massage well and rinse off with water. You can experiment with different shampoos to choose the best one for your kid. If your child has a scalp problem, then you can use medicated shampoos prescribed by the doctor. 

Changing Clothes and Shoes: An important, often forgotten part of personal hygiene is changing clothes and shoes on a regular basis. Dirty clothes and shoes which contain dead skin cells and sweat can lead to a stinky odor and skin infection such as foot fungus. 

Making a routine that aids in the maintenance of proper hygiene as well as teaching kids about hygiene is essential for keeping your child clean and healthy in the long run. Ingrain these habits in your child when he or she is young using reminders, positive reinforcements, and even by setting a good example yourself, and it most likely that your child will inculcate these habits for life.

Stress Management for Kids

Children can be stressed due to factors related to school, family, peer pressure, etc. Examinations and scores are found to be the major causes of worry in children. Similarly, stress can be caused if the child finds out that he is different from others due to any physical deformity. 

 Many children cannot cope up with increasing stress. If not identified and treated at the right time, it can lead to behavioral problems and affect the child in future. Excess stress can lead to problems like stomach upset, colitis, migraine, irritability, tantrums, or even complete withdrawal. 

Stress Management Techniques 

• Many times it is observed that children do not discuss their problems with parents. Healthy communication between parents and children is essential to understand and solve children's problems. Parents should keep a check on any unusual behavior of the child, and make sure there is a regular and healthy communication between them. 
• Children often observe and learn from the attitude of the parents. It is necessary for parents to have a positive attitude and also inculcate it in children. Negativism often leads to worry and stress, whereas, optimism can help to relieve stress. Parents must try to convince their child that there can be a solution to every problem and they do not have to worry too much. 
• Physical touch is very important for a child. Parents should not hesitate to hug or convey their love, care, and concern to their child. Parents must make a child realize that they, as parents, will always be there to support and protect him. 
• Sports and games are effective stress busters. Playing outdoor games, as well as other stimulating games like puzzles, darts, and card games helps in refreshing the mind. 
• Breathing exercises, walking, cycling, stretching exercises, punching, kick-boxing, etc., are helpful. Aerobic exercises or dance is also recommended. 
• Friends play an important role in a child's life as children are more comfortable talking and being with them. Children of all age groups need time to relax and enjoy with their friends. Make sure that you child spends time with other like-minded children. Similarly, playing with pets or enjoying any fun activity can help. 

Parents must try to be involved (not interfere) in their kid's activities whenever possible. They should not ignore or overlook symptoms of stress or other behavioral problems. Lastly, if none of the self-help methods work, it is recommended to look for professional help.

How to Deal with Kids

Starting a family and raising children, is something that every couple dreams of. However, parenthood is one of the most challenging tasks in the world. Kids are innocent, have a mind of their own, and readily mold the way we want them to. Their tremendous observation skills and a tendency to imitate our behavior, requires us to be extremely careful while they are around. Patience is the most important quality that a parent must possess. Proper child care is a must, if you want to inculcate good values in your kid. Incidences of child abuse can have devastating effects in the adult life of your child. 

Explanation 

Kids That Do Not Listen 

Such children are indeed very difficult to deal with. A kid, who does not listen to your sweet talks, nor responds to any kind of punishment, can be a cause of major frustration in your life. If you have such a kid, then you'll have to adopt some novel ways to deal with this situation. Rewards work best for such kids. Tell your child that if he finishes his homework, or behaves like a good boy in front of the guests, then you'll let him watch his favorite cartoon, or give him his favorite sweet. Keep your promise every time your kid behaves nicely. However, make sure that you are not making it a habit, otherwise your kid will expect rewards every time he does something good. 

 Kids with a Temper 

Just like adults, children have their own reasons that infuriate them. Getting angry is fine; just make sure your child vents out his anger in a proper way. Most importantly, be careful while expressing your own anger in front of your kids. Avoid any kind of abusive language or loud swearing in front of your kids. Kids have this tendency to pick up slang language really quickly. If your child throws a tantrum at the drop of a hat, then beware, as it could be his own way to get things done. Learn to ignore his tantrums, and tell him that he will only get what he wants, if he asks politely. Teach them the use of 'please' and 'sorry'. 

Kids Who Get Bored Easily 

If you have kids who cannot focus on one thing for a long time and get bored easily, then engaging them in a new activity can be quite challenging. This is the right time to teach them the importance of 'accomplishment' in life. Tell them the importance of completing the task till its end. The reward tricks also work in this case. Offer your child something he loves, every time he finishes a task. Find out the activities that he loves to do, and engage him in them for a long time. This will enable him to concentrate on his work for longer durations. If your kid gets bored whenever you have visitors, or if you are visiting someone, make sure that you have something to engage him so that you can relax and have a good time. 

Kids with Autism 

Such children can put all your parenting skills to a test. However, if you learn the tact, then dealing with autistic kids may not be as challenging. Find some autistic children activities for your child, if he/she has this disorder. You can also approach the self-help groups found by parents of autistic children for child support. 

Kids on Drugs 

If you find your teenager lurking in dark alleys with a bunch of hooligans, then it is definitely time for you to ring an alarm. Getting concerned about kids over drugs is alright, but make sure you express your concern in the right manner. Yelling at them, threatening them, or asking them to leave the home is definitely not appreciated. It will make the matters worse, and disturb your child's future. Instead, make them understand the hazards of drugs in life, in the most loving manner. Tell him/her that making mistakes in life is acceptable, but repeating them is not. 

Raising children is indeed challenging, but at the end, you'll be overjoyed to see your kid grown up into a loving and caring adult, just the way you wanted him/her to be.

Family Relationships

Every now and then you need quotes like these to remind you of the value your family holds in your life. Though family relationships are based on the strongest bond you could probably forge, they are equally sensitive. The bond of parents with children, of children with their siblings, among extended family, are all important relationships that need to be nurtured with time and effort. It is this lack of time and effort that sometimes results in minor or major problems within the family. The meaning of family gets altered, the strong bond weakens, and if not taken care of, withers away into nothingness. Here, we try and understand this sensitive bond, the problems it endures, and ways of strengthening family relationships.

Taking Each Other for Granted

The great gift of family life is to be intimately acquainted with people you might never even introduce yourself to, had life not done it for you. - Kendall Hailey 

The biggest problem that affects family relationships is the fact that they are taken for granted. 'She is my mother, so she will cook for me', 'He is my father, so he will pay for me', 'He is my brother, so he will stick up for me', etc., are all thought processes that signify you are taking your bond for granted, and that your meaning of family is that only they should be there for you, irrespective of whether or not you are there for them. It also signifies a lack of respect and value for all that you are being given without being asked for anything in return. But remember, every relationship is one of give and take. Though parents' love is known to be unconditional and that is what you have been taught all your life, there is something that they expect out of you. It may not be materialistic, but just simple appreciation of the fact that they do so much for you. Similar is the case with your siblings. Taking any relationship for granted, be it one with your family, one with your partner, or with a friend, is one of the biggest mistakes all of us make at some point in life. Every time such an instance occurs, your relationship will be affected, and weaken over time. So show your appreciation every once in a while, say it or express it with a gesture, but do it. It keeps the love alive and the relationship strong.

Not Being There for Each Other

No success in public life can compensate for failure in the home. - Benjamin Disraeli 

The second biggest problem that family relationships have to endure is the lack of time for each other. You are probably so caught up with your work, your social life, or yourself, that you have no time to bond with and understand the importance of family. This is in fact, a very serious problem, because there have been disastrous cases of children having the worst childhood, simply because their parents did not spend enough time with them. They grow up with bitter feelings in their hearts, and blame every negative instance or attribute that they possess to the fact that there was no one to teach them the difference between the right and the wrong. Some children have the maturity to understand the issue and deal with it, others don't. You definitely don't want to be one of those parents. Also remember that if you don't teach your little ones the value of spending time together as a family, as they grow up, they won't have enough time for you. That means when you are ready to listen to them, take care of them, and simply be there for them, they will probably have found another shoulder to cry on and another person to share their happiness with. This is probably when you will feel most regretful. Even spouses face the problem of lack of time for each other, and this results in serious relationship issues, such as emotional cheating, infidelity, and divorce. The fact that you promised to share your lives together, no matter what, is completely forgotten, and a bitter battle of words and emotions takes its place.

Not Communicating with Each Other

When a family is free of abuse and oppression, it can be the place where we share our deepest secrets and stand the most exposed, a place where we learn to feel distinct without being "better," and sacrifice for others without losing ourselves. - Letty Cottin 

Pogrebin Lack of communication is another problem amongst families. This may be due to the lack of time, or due to a particular fear of communicating with the family. For instance, kids are scared of their parents because of a fear that has been inculcated into them, which is why if they happen to do something wrong, they don't tell their parents, as they expect to be severely berated, labeled, and blamed for their doing. Spouses don't communicate with each other for the same reason. Parents don't tell their children what they feel for the fear of causing bitterness in their hearts. Yes, family relationships are sensitive, but they are definitely stronger than your fears. You have only your family to back you up in tough times, and sometimes, even the tiniest amount of support from your little one can strengthen you enough to tackle the world. Similarly, forging a bond with your kids so that they can easily come up and talk to you about any of their problems is important. This does not mean that you do not tell them when they are doing something wrong. There is a fine line between respect and fear that kids have for their parents. Command this respect, and leave no room for fear by opening up to them, and having them open up to you.

Not Saying 'I Love You' Enough

The real question isn't whether or not you love your kids, but how well you are able to demonstrate your love and caring so that your children really feel loved. - Stephanie Marston 

The phrase 'I Love You' has a lot of value, in spite of the fact that it is loosely used nowadays for any Tom, Dick, and Harry. The difference is when you say it, you have to mean it. Internally in a family, saying 'I love you' to each other, and meaning it every time you say it, is very important. You probably don't realize it, but it strengthens not only your bonds, but also your own self. We're all humans, and all we want is a little love, and this expression of love from our family makes a whole world of a difference to the people we are. If not verbally, say it by means of a gesture, like cooking up a great family dinner, taking your kids to the new amusement park in town, giving in to their demands every once in a while, spending time with your spouse with a quiet dinner, or anything you think is an expression of your love for your family.

 Good family life is never an accident but always an achievement by those who share it. - James H.S. Bossard 

With all said and done, family relationships can strengthen you, but sometimes weaken you too. Sometimes, your loyalty to your family is so great, that you are unable to make certain decisions that you know would benefit yourself. Sacrifices are not always termed as a good idea, because it is a fact that you cannot make someone else happy unless you are happy yourself. In some cases, it is necessary to separate from the family that is weakening you, to find yourself, and then return to nurture and recreate family relationships.

However, just remember the very important bottom line here. Not every human being is blessed with a family, and those of you who are, carve out some important family time, put in your efforts to nurture your relationships with every family member, have some good old family fun, and you will find yourself blessed, strong, and capable of tackling any problem that life throws at you.

Communication Problems in Families

For anyone to say that they've never seen family problems would seem a tad unbelievable. There isn't a family that hasn't seen issues of some sort at some point or the other. The biggest cause for misunderstandings is communication issues among families. The unfortunate part is that one little misunderstanding can cause bitterness for a long time to come. But at the end of the day, the scenario with relationships isn't quite as volatile as it may turn with the family. In case of a family, it is of extreme importance that the issues get handled with care, especially because if not handled in the right manner they could turn into dysfunctional families for a long time to come after that. It also isn't uncommon to see that a lot of these problems often stem from strained relations between the adults of the house, in the first place. So, how should these communication problems within families be fixed? Take a look. 

Communication Problems in the Family 

Problems do not erupt out of nothing. They most often are a result of egos and sometimes of denial. Some of the most common factors that lead to communication issues among families are: 

•  Lack of Patience: This is a largely contributing factor leading towards family communication problems. Lack of patience can be one of the biggest downfalls when it comes to the levels of closeness of most families too. A snappy parent, or even a snappy child can be quite a hassle to handle under certain circumstances. The easiest way out in situations like that then is ignoring the person in question, because it is a much simpler escape route. 
• Lack of Time for Each Other: Not so much of a shocker, is it? The lack of time for family members is invariably a reason that leads to communication problems. Makes sense if you really think about it. With the fast paced lives that we seem to be leading these days, it hardly comes as a surprise that the lack of time for each other is one of the key aspects leading to family problems. Parents hardly have the time for children; spouses too, don't have much time for each other. It's almost heart breaking to see family's lose their closeness due to reasons that would seem almost trivial. 
• Lack of Discipline: This is the worst problem in terms of children. A badly behaved child could ruin the peace of a family, like a tornado waiting to happen. What's worse is, while parents may have some semblance of control when the child is little, this could go way out of hand when he/she gets older, thus leading to a constantly disharmonious atmosphere within the family. 

Solving the Problems 

 If there are problems, there are solutions, that is a given. If worked on the right way, even these problems can be put to rest. Take a look at what the best solutions for family problems are. 

Be Patient: If the lack of patience is one of the causes of problems, very evidently the solution is developing the virtue of patience. Hearing out what the children have to say on a certain matter, or even consulting the significant other in issues where their consent is required is one way to start. 

Spend Time Together: Not being in on each other's lives can vastly cause problems too. It is therefore essential to have quality family time with one another. Bear in mind though, while being in on the other person's life is a good thing, it shouldn't border on interference in any way. An overdose of time spent with each other too can lead to problems, so this must be worked on with a certain balance. 

Stay Focused and Don't Assume: This one goes more for the seniors of a family. It would be natural to see juvenile behavior being displayed by the younger members of a household, but it is up to the elders, be it parents or siblings, to control the atmosphere and keep it calm. A hot-headed adult can make situations worse. Also, being presumptuous about the behavior and attitude of the younger ones can lead to problems, so rather than working on assumptions, talk things out. A comfortable environment will help allow truth from them too. This will act well in favor of the family. 

Most of what was given above were some of the most common problems that most families are faced with. Working on them could help to a great extent. At the end of the day it is important to maintain the best relations possible with your family, because if not for family, there is nobody else to act as a real support system to you.

How to Apologize to Your Mom

A sorry doesn't make a dead man alive but it does heal wounds of the heart, if it's said genuinely. Our mothers are our best friends and it is also said that we fight the most with people closest to us. These fights are due to concern, care and out of love. Sometimes, care can take the form of anger and all of us have noticed this a million times. If you have been angry with your mom and said things you shouldn't have said, now is the time to apologize and make it up to her. Though we will give you some tips on how you can apologize to your mom, they won't work unless you really feel sorry for what you've done. All a mother wants is for her children to be safe and have a life full of happiness, and for sorrows to never exist in that world. At times, mothers can be wrong too. However, we owe them our lives and an apology is only going to make things better. Having said that, let's see how exactly you can say sorry to your mom. 

How You Can Apologize to Your Mother 

An apology is the superglue of life. It can repair just about anything. - Lynn Johnston 

No matter what caused the fall out, an apology can cure the problem and make the distance disappear in no time. Here are some simple ways you can choose from while apologizing to your mother. However, you must remember it is all about the gesture and the words. Meaningful words will win against an expensive gift that you buy. Your mom knows you the best; make sure you are very genuine when you apologize. 

A Meaningful SORRY 

A meaningful sorry is the best answer if you want to know how to apologize to your mom. Sometimes, words are all you have and they can really be the best apology ever. Your mom understands you the best and thus, it'll be a great option if you just talk out stuff with her. Tell her why you behaved the way you did or why you said the things you did and she'll forgive you for sure. An honest apology is never turned down. Tell her everything that is there in your heart and also tell her how you realized it was your mistake and thought of making it up to her. Promise her you won't repeat your mistake again. Just say whatever is there in your heart and it'll be one of the best apologies ever. 

Write it Down 

If you're finding it difficult to express what is in your mind verbally, you have the option of writing a sorry letter to your mom. Write down everything you want to say to your mom and tell her how sorry you are. A letter works great in almost all cases as it doesn't only put forward the apology, it shows the efforts you have taken to make things better. To make your mom feel even better, you can compose a small song or poem for her. She'll absolutely love this gesture and will forgive you with all her heart in no time. 

Memories 

If it has been a major fight and you have really hurt your mom a lot, you should do more than just saying sorry. More efforts are going to be needed this time around. Make a small video comprising all the photographs and videos of you and your mom. Along with this video, write a small letter to remind her of all the times you've made a mistake and she forgave you; how you've learned from those mistakes. Tell her how much you love her and how everything that you are today is because of her. A mother falls weak at the mention of her fabulous upbringing. Tell her how you need her to correct you every time you go wrong. 

These were some simple ways in which you can show how sorry you are for what you've done. Now that you know how to apologize to your mom, don't waste any time and just do it. Saying sorry immediately shows how much you regret your actions and/or your words. If you delay apologizing, everything will fade away eventually, like it always does, but there will always be some guilt that you won't be able to get rid of. So don't waste more time and start planning how you're going to make your mom happy, NOW!

Dealing with Difficult Children

Childhood is a period of wide ranging experiences and emotions. Childhood is about gamboling around parks, riding bicycles, playing with friends, and having a great time. Childhood is about leading a carefree life and discovering the simple joys it has to offer everyday. Childhood is a time when children observe the world around them and involuntarily shape their opinions and ideas based on these observations. Childhood is a malleable age and hence every child needs to be handled with utmost care and love - be it from parents, family members, teachers or any other people around the child. However, not everyone has a picture-perfect childhood. Traumatic experiences like the loss of a parent or a loved one (even a pet), domestic abuse, sexual exploitation, disastrous addictions, or a severe medical condition can scar the innocence of childhood. Even things like exposure to abusive language and behavior, sibling rivalry or peer pressure, which might seem like minute problems for some people, can have an adverse effect on a child. A child may also have self-esteem issues (for e.g. the fear of failing in a test and not living up to your expectations), may seek attention from a parent, or may actually be disturbed by certain events at school that you are not aware of. 

It is at times like these when dealing with children becomes extremely difficult for the parents. Dealing with children during difficult times might not be easy, but it is a process that requires a lot of patience and support, from your child as well as the people surrounding him. Some of the measures provided below may seem idealistic to you, but your approach is what matters. You have to keep trying if you want to break through that barrier and get through to your child. It may take time, but by following a combination of the measures given below, you may be able to get through to your child and make a change. 

Note: For the convenience of reading, the child in question has been mentioned as 'he', though it may also be 'she'. 

How to Deal with Difficult Children 

The first thing that you need to do as the parent of a child you think is being difficult, is stop thinking of him as a 'difficult child'. Patience is one of the most essential virtues of parenting. In case your child has been acting strange - for example showing increased aggressiveness, or even complete lack of activity and disinterest, try to analyze the root cause of the problem, and attempt to these measures to help him. 

Try to Be More Involved 

The most important rule of parenting is 'to be involved' in your child's life. Although you need not be the annoying parent who keeps on snooping on your kids, you just cannot afford to lose track of their lives. Always maintain a healthy relationship with your kid and create a comfort level that will enable him to find you easily approachable and helpful, instead of creating a cold wall of stringent disciplinary rules and regulations. Treat your children with respect. Allow them to go out and explore the world on their own, but love them enough so that they would want to come back to you at the end of the day. Of course, it is not so easy to be involved, especially if they have voluntarily shut you out of their lives. However, you may be able to find a certain factor at which you can connect with them. For example, if your son is fond of soccer, you can bond with him by getting him a new soccer ball, or a jersey of his favorite soccer player, or simply by discussing his interests. If your daughter is fond of art, you could start by getting her something like a drawing book, color pencils or paints, or again, simply trying to learn something about art from her yourself. What this activity will do is tell your child that you are not going to only reprimand him for being difficult to deal with. It will instead tell him that you are willing to take a step to figure what the problem is, and work it out by involving yourself in his interests, likes and dislikes. One step from your side may lead to one from his side. 

Inculcate a Sense of Responsibility in Your Child 

This means making your child responsible for his actions. There should always be a consequence of every action, whether good or bad. This will make him responsible for everything he does, and will require a good amount of thinking before any action is taken. Remember that the kind of consequence you have planned depends on what you think is right. No one suggests that physical punishment is suitable for a child. There are other methods of punishment, that include grounding, or taking away a particular thing he likes for some days. For example, if your child is unresponsive to your requests, give him three attempts to respond. After that, mete out your punishment, which may be sending him to his room, making him do the dishes with you, or not being permitted to watch TV. The consequence should be something that is likely to affect him to a suitable extent. This will reduce such instances and you will find that he becomes more responsive. On the other hand, don't fail to point out areas where he is good, where he is showing improvement. Don't just reprimand, pay attention to the good or fun aspects of your child's personality to be able to strike a balance and reduce the level of difficulty you experience in dealing with your child. As a parent, always try to explain your child the difference between freedom of speech and profanity. Inculcating a sense of freedom along with responsibility in a child is perhaps the biggest achievement of a parent. It is very easy for people to teach their child to differentiate between black and white - which means it is easy to yell and scold a child when he/she goes wrong and very easy to appreciate and encourage the child for a job well done, but the art of parenting also lies in introducing your child to the gray areas of life. This gray area teaches your child that every action has a consequence, and that will teach him to respect his decisions and choices. 

Teach Your Child How to Handle His Emotions 

Children learn by example. If they see you fuming at something they didn't do for you, they are likely to fume at something you didn't do for them. This is a small example, but it helps explain how children learn. If you go around throwing fits of uncontrolled anger and yell in the house, you cannot blame your child for being extremely aggressive or disturbed. Children emulate the behavioral characteristics that are reflected by people around them. Always set a good example for your children. Teach your children how to handle emotions by handling them well yourself. Emotions are not only means of expression, but also important tools that can make or break relationships with the people around us. Imbibe the importance of emotions and healthy communication. Instill a sense of positive thinking in your children, and teach them the worth of a calm, composed mind. Good habits and virtues can never be taught by lecturing your children. The best way to promote good habits is by practicing them yourself. Your children are a reflection of yourself. 

Don't Over-Indulge your Child 

Yes, appreciating good behavior is extremely important, but over-indulging your child or rewarding him for something that is his responsibility is incorrect. For instance, you cannot give your child a chocolate every time he cleans up his room. Instead, you can tell him that he's been really helpful lately and reward him with a hug, a smile, and perhaps a movie or an extra half hour of video gaming. 

Seek Support of Your Child's Close Ones 

Sometimes, only you talking to your child is not enough. It may elicit a feeble response or not elicit a response at all. But there is likely to be someone your child talks to. This person could be his sibling, your partner, a friend, his nanny, or his teacher. You have to analyze who this person is and try and connect with him to find out what exactly is bothering your child. Seek their support to help get through to your child and break free of the 'difficulty' that you think is binding both of you. 

Note: It is always safe to consult a doctor or a therapist when your child is exhibiting extremely abnormal behavioral symptoms. 

Seek Professional Help if Necessary 

Some parents may assume that more than the children, it is the current situations and emotions that are difficult to deal with. There are times when the best of us break down under difficult situations and need help. It is only natural that children will require some help from adults while dealing with complicated issues and difficult situations, which can be a cause of great confusion and distress for the mind of an innocent child. If you think that this is something you cannot handle alone, seek the help of a counselor or a child psychologist for some support. You are likely to face a lot of resistance from your child in this aspect, but face it if you think it is necessary. It may help get through to him and will provide you guidance about appropriately dealing with the situation. Allow your children to experience new things and face the world, but assure them that you will always be there to support them through all the difficulties. A child should always be nurtured with the right amount of patience, freedom, understanding, discipline, and love. 

There is Always Hope 

No one says that dealing with children or teenagers is going to be easy. In fact, the older they grow, the more rebellious they are likely to become. However, you have to teach them to respect you - command it, don't demand it. And this can be done only by setting a good example yourself. This doesn't mean you force your child to behave the way you do; give him the freedom to develop his personality, but ensure that he is guided at all times. Inculcating a positive change is going to take time. You have to maintain your resolve at all times and make sure your child doesn't try to break it by resorting to newer methods of making things difficult. Meting out a consequence of every action shows your child that you are the one in charge, and that you are not going to bend to meet his demands. 

Finally, don't focus all your energies on making things work out as early as possible. It should be a part of your daily routine - trying to break through the barriers that your child has built around himself, trying to spend even a mere 15 minutes together, not reprimanding, but trying to bond. These small efforts on your part will eventually definitely make a difference, and will help reduce the amount of difficulty you face in dealing with your child. 

Parenting can be synonymous with sending your child to an art class - the various values and virtues are the colors required to create the perfect painting on the canvas of life. As parents, it is up to you to choose which brand of colors, brushes and canvas you want to provide your child. The teacher might provide some help by introducing the child to the nuances of painting. But as far as the painting is concerned - it is the child who is in complete control of every stroke and every splash of color.

Spending Quality Time with Children: Tips for Parents

There is no doubt about the fact that, any parent would want to get to know their children better, learn new things about them, and the quirky events in their lives. However, time is a precious commodity and is hard to get by. Parents today, are overworking themselves so that they can provide their children with the comforts and privileges, that they themselves could not enjoy while growing up. They want their kids to grow up feeling that their parents did the best they could for them. The sad part is that, what children crave the most is for the affection of their parents and to be able to spend as much time as possible with them. Childhood is fleeting and is also the most crucial phase, when unbreakable and deep-rooted bonds are developed. 

Every child needs to feel like he is cared for and loved in equal measures by both his parents. Unfortunately, it often happens that children become closer to one parent, while the other parent stays out of touch, for long hours on business and work commitments. Today, family has become a part of parents' schedule, and not vice versa. The ideal way to spend leisure time with children, should be to keep work and family time separate from each other, while giving due justice to both areas of our life. 

Negative Impact of Less Family Time 

Guilt and Its Effects 

When parents are not able to spend time with their children, they feel guilty and left out. Which loving father or mother wouldn't wish to spend some time having fun with their kids, and getting to know each other better? When parents are on a time crunch and find themselves reaching home late, they too feel disappointed with themselves for not having done enough. This guilt can make them avoid their kids all together, or get too bogged down by stress, which makes them snap and get irritated with the children and the spouse. So much of misery simply states that the anger is coming from love and the inability to express it. The flip side to this guilt is that, parents end up trying to buy love from their children by giving them gifts, toys, candies, and more pocket-money. This results in children throwing tantrums, when parents don't buy them something they want. Children innocently perceive gifts as the modus operandi of how their parents show affection towards them. 

Children Feel Weary 

When a child doesn't get to see and interact with a parent or both his parents, he/she is bound to feel unloved and detached. The answer to a good upbringing is not to raise the child through a nanny, babysitter or grandparents. What children need is quality time with parents, as often as possible. Remember quality does not imply quantity, as the two are very different aspects. Parents may spend hours with their children, but if those hours are spent admonishing, criticizing, and arguing with the children and the spouse, then the entire objective is defeated. Children end up feeling weary of their parents and often tend to ignore and shun interaction. 

Communication Gap 

In cases, where parents and children do not get to spend much time talking to one another, children often end up answering back and being rude. Children feel alienated, uncared for and retaliatory against their parents. This problem is conventionally associated with adolescence and teenagers, but even children as young as 6-8 are increasingly showing similar rebellious behavior. Such children feel that their parents do not understand them and are too wound up in their own lives and their jobs. Children who are looked after by loving grandparents are comparatively luckier than kids who grow up with babysitters. This is where things can take a turn for the worse. Unhappy children will make friends with the wrong company at school, they will become rude and troublesome during class and may even take to bullying other kids. All these actions are blatant signs that the child is not being given the care and love he deserves. It's the parents' responsibility to ensure such an eventuality does not occur. 

 Educational Lapse 

Unless there is at least one parent monitoring the child's education during the initial few years, the lack of educational assistance can severely hamper the learning aptitude of the child. Learning has to be made fun and interactive for the child, by both the parents. A recent study shows that children who are taught by the father are relatively sharper and more receptive to new information. Such kids fare better in academic and IQ results. They are also naturally tuned to be more street-smart, thereby making them gear up for looking after their own interests and security as they grow older. Children who are left to care for themselves, often score lesser in studies, as they get easily distracted by toys, Internet and TV. Even if there is a babysitter at hand for helping in the homework, the end results will not be as satisfactory as compared to when parents take interest in teaching the child themselves. Always remember that children need dollops of love and affection, and at the same time need soothing discipline, so as to help them mend their errors. 

Importance of Spending Quality Time with Children 

Unbreakable Bonds 

It takes time to create and maintain relationships. Similarly as parents, we need to take time out for our kids. Everyday is important and every free minute counts. Making an effort to utilize every moment possible, will allow you to spend more a good amount of time with your kids. You may not see much coming off it now, but this practice will yield its positive results in the future, when the kids are in high school and college etc. Gaining the trust of your children is the greatest asset any parent can hope for and once you're in their good books, you can be assured that your children will never make wrong decisions, when it comes to their own lives. It is important for parents to be aware of the events happening in their child's life, and must participate in discussion, so as to guide them to the right path. Growing up can be confusing and adolescence difficult. Parents can share their own experiences and failures with their children, so that the child is made aware of the consequences of their thoughts and actions. 

Instilling Everlasting Values 

Children observe, process, and assimilate values from their parents as well as their immediate surrounding. Everything they learn is through years and years of ingraining of morals and principles, which the family upholds. Children learn to be respectful towards elders and protective towards younger siblings and cousins. They learn the difference between right and wrong, safe and unsafe. They grow up to understand the value of education, hard work, honesty, kindness, and forgiveness. Children gradually become more receptive to the challenges their parents face and all the hardships they have undergone in their own personal lives for attaining the standard of life they enjoy today. 

Acceptance and Strength of Character 

A family offers the perfect environment for the child to develop a healthy and balanced personality. Good parents accept their children for who they are and never compare them or judge them. Children must be given the freedom to express their feelings, and creativity without a worry in the world. Parents must be aware of their children's talents and accordingly provide them with further training and encouragement, so that the children feel more confident about themselves. Confidence can take people far and help them contribute positively to the society. Similarly your child too can grow up to become a confident individual, only and only if you give him/her your support. 

Ways to Spend Time with Your Kids 

#1 Family Comes First 

You will need to reschedule your timetable, so that half an hour or more, each day is devoted only for the children. This time must be spent doing various activities such as, playing, listening to music, rolling on the carpet or the garden, playing catch, or simply taking a walk, while talking. If you have more than one child, you will need to ensure that you give individual attention to each child everyday, so that none feels left out or less loved. Speak to your spouse about this new change and set a fixed hour for each parent. The ideal option is to eat breakfast or dinner together as a family, each and every day. Parents can sit together and read a story for their kids, before tucking the kids in bed. Praying together is also an excellent time for bonding. 

 #2 Quality vs Quantity 

The objective is to spend the free time you get with your children, in a productive and positive manner. Utilize every bit of free time you get, which could include the time when you are driving your child to school and back, or when they come back from school and have not yet sat down to start their homework. Wake them up half an hour earlier on school days, so that you can have fun preparing breakfast together. Make it a point to start no TV time so that the kids do not while away this precious time watching cartoons and advertisements. You can have fun preparing dinner together and washing the dishes thereafter. You can have fun selecting what clothes the kids will be wearing the next day to school, by dressing up and poking fun at each other. All of this need not be done within one day and can be spread over the entire week as well as the weekend. 

#3 Always Thinking of You 

If your job drags you down into late hours, you will naturally not be able to accomplish the usual daily bonding activities. Instead, you could always keep reminding the kids that you are constantly thinking about them and missing them. Leave small notes in the lunch bag or on top of their neatly piled clothes for the day. Make them their favorite breakfast and set it on the table, so that when the kids wake up, they will know you made it specially for them. If you are on a business trip and cannot make it home for the next few days, you can leave voice recorded messages on the machine or the cell phone. Make it a point to video chat with them online every night, so that you can talk about their day and wish them goodnight. 

 #4 Peer vs Parent 

When it comes to dealing with teenagers, the dynamics of the relationship can turn tricky. At times you will need to put yourself in their shoes, so as to help you understand what they're going through. You will need to treat your teenager as a peer in order to gain his trust, however hard it may seem. Nonetheless, you must know where to draw the line, so that they don't get carried away. You must make sure that you step in as the parent, when required. The best way to deepen the bond with your teenager is to share your experiences with him/her. Talk about your heartbreaks and dilemmas that you faced, while growing up. The confusion and the resentment you experienced as a teenager and how you dealt with them and found appropriate solutions. Talk about the mistakes you made and how you tried to mend your way, through the years. Your teenager will respect your honesty and will gain invaluable insight about life. 

No matter how busy you may be or how wound up with chores, always remember to hug your children and let them know that you love them. You'd be surprised if you found out how much these gestures matter, in the long run.

Permissive Parenting Style

Raising children is one of the most difficult jobs and you need to find the right parenting style that is suitable for your children. There are many theories about how to raise a child, so that he/she grows up to be a responsible and morally sound person. One of the most challenging aspects of parenting is finding a parenting style that both parents agree on and which is also a suitable one for the child. There are many parenting styles and permissive parenting style is among the most controversial ones. Permissive parenting has come under a lot of flak in recent times and there are many pros and cons of permissive parenting. 

Permissive parenting also known as indulgent parenting is a style of rearing children in such a way that no demands are made on them. Parents are responsive of the children's wants and spend quality time with them, but they do not control them or teach them to behave in an appropriate manner. Permissive parenting is just the opposite of authoritative parenting where the parents are strict and who set clear rules for their children. The upside of such a type of parenting is that children learn to be independent and are able to make their own decisions. The most glaring disadvantage is that there is a likelihood that they become spoiled brats and learn to undermine authority. 

Characteristic of Permissive Parenting 

Permissive parenting is a style of parenting where no clear boundaries are set for the child's behavior and the overall atmosphere at home is one of warmth. The parents shower the child with love and attention but do not reprimand him/her for wrong behavior. There are no rules and parameters in permissive parenting and many children are often bewildered by the number of choices that are given to them and the lack of direction that they receive from their parents. Such parents are often indulgent and can be said to be laid back and easy-going. They do not punish the child for any misconduct and wrongdoings neither do they correct the child's behavior. These parents firmly believe that the child should be allowed to make their own choices and as parents they should fully support such a decision. 

Permissive Parenting Style Effects 

One of the most negative effect of such a style of parenting is that the child is highly spoiled due to over indulgence of parents. As a child does not have the capability to know from right and wrong and the permissive parents too do not teach it, they become incapable of differentiating from right and wrong behavior. Children of such a parenting style think that the whole world is going to indulge them in a similar way, and this sets them up for disappointments later in life. Also such children are prone to throw tantrums and behave in an outrageous manner when they don't get what they want. Another effect of permissive parenting is that children, particularly adolescents, may take advantage of their lenient parents and indulge in many anti social activities. 

This kind of parenting style might work well for shy, reticent and introvert kids as this parenting style gives them room to grow as an individual and they begin to blossom as a person. However, permissive parenting will not work for rebellious and difficult kids. Some children will become manipulative and will act out to get what they want from their parents. Permissive parenting style examples are making few demands on the child to do household chores or school work and not asking for any accountability in regards to pocket money. As there are very few, if any rules in the house regarding bedtimes, homework schedule or TV watching, the child does not learn to be responsible. 

After reading about this parenting style you must have realized that it is not the best way to raise a child. Many parents who adopt this parenting style might do so because they were themselves brought up in a highly strict environment and want to compensate for it. Whatever the reasons might be, adopting a permissive parenting style is not the ideal way to raise your child. As a parent you have the responsibility of not only showering love and affection to your child, but you also need to teach them disciple and help them to distinguish between what is right from wrong.

Parenting a Teenage Daughter

Your daughter is your world and the relation you share with her is above all the relations in the world. But when she stepped into teenage, you started observing change in her behavior. The way she responds to you, the way she dresses and the way she want to live her life has become very different. The things around her have now turned out to be only hers, her life, her friends, her school, everything just belongs to her. She no more gives you that much importance which she used to give before and she has become irritating and stubborn. Though this sounds to be a difficult situation, you can raise your daughter easily by just taking care of few important things. 

Understanding Teenage Daughter 

Teenage girls become difficult to raise because of their constantly changing mood. They become very moody and rude and want to live their life according to their ways. It becomes very difficult for the parents to understand this situation and as a result of that, parents are usually confused about how to behave with them. In such situations, a mother can play a very important role. She can become her best friend with whom she can discuss her problems, joys, sorrows or anything related to what is going wrong with her life. As this is the period of puberty, daughters feel more comfortable with their mothers than fathers. Hence, it becomes necessary for a mother to take care of her teenage daughter. Girls usually try to find someone who can understand them. This she can find in her friends, boyfriend, cousins, siblings, or may be in a mentor. She totally confides in him and tells him even her deepest secrets. This bond becomes strong and whenever she gets time, she tries to talk to that person. As there are mental as well as physical changes at this age, a girl needs extra care and support. 

Suggestions for Parents of Teenage Daughters 

Parenting teen daughters may give you a severe headache at times, but it is very important for you to manage the situation. At this age, parents should be more supportive, patient, understanding and lovable. Following are some of the tips for parenting teenage girl wants, necessity and behavior. 

Communication 

Communication is the best way to understand each other. It is one of the most necessary and important parenting teenagers tips. Try to communicate with your daughter as much as you can. Discuss everything with her and try to know what is going on in her mind. Try to maintain a healthy conversation. If you quarrel, then communicate and sort it out instead of keeping quiet. Take her out for a dinner or just for a small walk and make things alright through communication. 

Use the Right Words at the Right Time 

One abusive word can make your daughter angry or depressed. Do not use wrong words and try to be polite. Correct use of words at the correct place and time is very important while parenting teenagers as it can solve many problems. While scolding, also try not to use abusive words as teenagers get hurt very easily. 

Do Not Criticize 

When your daughter makes a mistake, try to make her understand what her mistake was and tell her not to repeat it. If you will shout, scold and criticize her for her very first mistake then neither will she understand nor will she be afraid to do it the next time. This is one of the important parenting teenagers advice. While scolding, do not just blast over her, make things clear and then make her understand what you want to say. 

Listen to Her 

Your daughter wants you to value her suggestions and her opinions. To fulfill this, you need to listen to her. If you think her opinions and suggestions are not good enough and you do not want to implement them, then at least listen to her completely. Then give her the right option and convince her to do the right thing. 

Strictness is Necessary Sometimes 

Although I have appealed you to be her friend still, you need to be strict sometimes. Try to make her understand the importance of discipline. This does not mean that you should not give her any kind of freedom. The thing is, give her freedom but be strict where necessary. 

 I hope this article on parenting teenage girl has helped you to understand your daughter and her behavior better. Just follow the parenting teenagers advice and tips given in this article and try to understand them. Make the relation between you and your daughter better and a more understanding one.

Parenting Teenage Boys

Watching your innocent son slowly transform into a blooming teenager can be fascinating and, at the same time, challenging. It is an equally difficult time for the teenagers too. An oft experienced scenario in homes, which have teenage boys is that the boys tend to withdraw, emotionally, socially, and physically. They go to their rooms, close the doors, turn on the stereo, and emerge only when they want, or think they have gotten over whatever they wanted. In today's day and age, teenage boys are changing in far more serious ways, including drinking and drugs, aggressive behavior, reckless driving, and more. 

Understanding the Teenage Years: 

As a boy approaches his teens, there are a lot of changes taking place within him. These are both, biological as well as psychological. His behavior and ways of thinking, talking, feeling, and reacting to certain situations, also tend to undergo a drastic change at this juncture. He wants to take risks, solve his own problems, initiate social interaction, and also start dating or express himself individually. In short, he wants to build his own identity at home, at school, among friends, and in the society as a whole. However, at the same time, he might also feel completely unprepared to face new challenges. 

The pandemonium in the boy's mind may be reflected through his behavior from time to time. There may be a prominent change in the way he behaves with his friends, his siblings or his parents. There may be a change even in the way he behaves in public. Sometimes, these changes are positive and parents are pleased by them. At numerous other instances, these might be unpleasant, negative, and more often than not, rebellious, and parents might get extremely tensed by the behavior of their son. Raising a teenage son is not easy, and one needs to understand the kid's side of the situation and the probable reasons for his behavioral fluctuations. Following are some of the reasons why boys may behave in a certain way as they grow up: 

• The first and strongest reason is that they are trying to achieve independence or establish their own identity. Owing to this, they feel the urge to rebel or act independently, sometimes against the will of the parents, on whom they have depended on for so many years of their life. 

 • The second most important factor, here, is that boys experience drastic changes in themselves as they hit puberty, owing to the fact that their bodies mature. Naturally, they tend to feel embarrassed or overwhelmed about the increase in sexual feelings, and may not want to discuss this with their parents and family members. • The third probable reason why the teenage boys suddenly become difficult for their parents is the increased importance of friends in their lives. This is because they want to discover the larger world that is out there, and also because friends tend to become a bigger support-system than parents, as the deepest of the secrets can be shared with them. 

• Many of the boys live behind a mask of masculine bravado, they feel it is necessary to cut themselves off from any feelings that society teaches them are unacceptable for men and boys - fear, uncertainty, feelings of loneliness and need. The problem for those who wish to help is that, on the outside, a boy who is having problems may seem cheerful and resilient, while keeping inner the feelings of being troubled, lonely, afraid, and desperate, hidden. 

The problems below the surface become obvious only when boys go "over the edge" and get into trouble at college, start fighting with friends, take drugs or start drinking, are diagnosed with clinical depression or erupt into physical violence. Parents thus, need to understand and try to handle the inner frustrations of their teenage sons. 

Tips for Parenting Teenage Boys: 

It is very essential for the parents to judge how their teenage sons might react in a particular situation. For this, it is very important to know your son well. Having one to one conversation with your son may prove to be of great help. However, talking to teenagers usually takes huge effort, as getting them to have a decent conversation, more often than not, seems like a mountain to climb. Here are some tips that may help you get through to your son. After all, just an assurance that you are always there for your son, no matter what, can help him cope with his inner frustrations to a large extent. 

 Look behind the Camouflage 

It is vital for the parents to understand that their teenage boys will not attain mental maturity all of a sudden. They will see, do, and experience things and will learn from them. Try to gauge why a boy is behaving in a particular manner. He might attempt to hide his feelings and frustrations from his parents, so it important to try to understand what he is trying to camouflage and why. 

Be Attentive and Sensitive 

 Being a parent, you should always be alert. Look for those early signs of trouble. These signs include everything from bad grades to rowdy behavior, from seeming quiet to manifesting symptoms of depression, from using drugs or alcohol to becoming a perpetrator or victim of violence. Be extremely alert and try to have a healthy conversation with your son, so that you can talk him out of all the troublesome habits, which he may be getting into. 

Talk to Him and Understand Him 

Figure out new ways of talking to your son, so that he doesn't feel afraid or ashamed to share his true feelings with you. Be patient with him, don't push him or nag him too hard. Be gentle and kind and show him that he means a lot to you and that you are proud of him. 

Give Him Time 

Parents have to learn to give the boy the time he needs to express his feelings and come out wholeheartedly in the open. Usually, boys need to set a clock for themselves. They have to determine how much time they need to remain silent before opening up to share their feelings. If parents learn to become sensitive and respect their sons' emotions, it will make it easier for the boys to be honest about their feelings. 

As parents, you know your kids best, and only you can be the best judge of their behavioral and mental state. The key here, is to trust your son, and try to be open in understanding and accepting what he may be going through or what he may be expecting from you. And finally, do not hesitate to consult an expert and call for professional help or additional support, whenever need be.

Dysfunctional Family as a Cause of Difficult Childhood

Dysfunctional family is a disastrous unit where repeated malfunctioning is a rule. Its effects can be realized far later, when they achieve an enormous form of destructive psychological effects on children. The sub-standard environment meted out to the child by such parents may (in some cases) be attributed to the unpleasant memories of their own childhood. 

Characteristics of a Dysfunctional Family 

• Lack of trust and absence of security 
• Absence of the feeling of love and belonging 
• Lack of understanding between family members 
• Parents fail to nurture and support the children 
• Needs and desires of the child are always neglected 
• Verbal, physical, or sexual abuse may be a part of the family 
•  Family member(s) create an "unpredictably unhealthy environment" 
• Disputes develop on petty issues, like, money, love, work, or almost anything 
•  Negative dealing of stressful situations 
• Family values and rules are rigid and illogical 
• In rare cases, overprotecting the child may cause an adverse effect 

Serious Impact on Child Psychology 

Parents' distorted attitudes can have a traumatic effect on the children. Such unnatural relationships gradually become the norms of the child's life. While adapting to deficient parents, every child displays different manifestations. Some of the following traits may be visible singly or in combination in the affected child: 

• Feeling of loneliness 
• Being too hard on oneself 
• Finding it hard to relax and enjoy 
•  Difficulty expressing feelings 
• Extremist responses and decisions 
• Problems forming intimate relationships 
•  Adopting themselves to abusive relations 
• More concerned in helping others, apprehensive to seek approval 
• Taking over more than they can handle 
• Incompetent handling of anger, frustration, and hatred 

Children Conforming to Atypical Roles 

Child having a sensitivity threshold that's very low may exhibit disorders, like, study problems, drug or alcohol addiction, and other disturbances in the family. In some cases, the family dysfunction is attributed to the child even if he is not causing significant trouble (the truth maybe otherwise though difficult to prove). Some growing kids can use humor to rescue themselves, and act as an entertainer in groups, while few love to stay in complete social isolation. Rarely, some children play more than one of the above roles causing increasing pain and confusion. 

Good Parenting - Spot the Tell-tale Signs 

None of the parents wish to really hurt their children by choice, but they should 'intentionally' be more sensitive to the child's feelings. Family disputes are an inevitable part of life, but it should not be an accepted pattern. Each family member should also preserve his own space and not invade others', and still be able to express freely, discuss, and opine. Parents need to focus on the plight of the problem child, who will manifest as either - the over-achiever or the silent sufferer. However, there is one thing in common that can be enforced to each of these personality types - a sincere attempt to understand them, the attitude of being more like a friend than being a parent or sibling. 

Support their Needs and Help the Child Recover 

Seeking support from parents, friends, and other companions whom the child can trust, helps a lot. Encourage the children to express their feelings, and most importantly, keep them away from deficient members who are likely to hurt. Be patient, react optimistically despite your limitations. A break from daily chores, involvement in recreational activities, and pursuing a favorite hobby can work wonders for the entire family. 

One prominent accomplishment of a difficult childhood is that, the child is fine-tuned to being adjustable, and that helps him pull through adversity. The best way to prevent dysfunctional relationship is to detect it at the earliest, find ways to cope with it through communicating, counseling, and transform the conflict into a productive life plan. Empowering yourself through this tough situation will transform you into an outstanding person and help live life to the fullest.